Like a Boss
by: Kevin D. Williamson, Wealthy White Guy
Look at how virile Mitt Romney is. I wish I could fit my lips around his penis women would realize that politics is about voting for the most virile male you can find! Instead they vote based on policies and stuff. So boring!
Mitt Romney is a self made man. After his dad gave him all his money, he used it to found a company and then gave the rest away! So generous, not like Barack HUSSEIN Obama. But what can you expect from a black Kenyan socialist?
How can Mitt Romney, glorious titan of industry that he is, guarantee victory in this election? Easy, just flaunt his wealth more. Smush dollar bills into the faces of poor people. Buy a house for each of his dogs! Really show people what its like to be a entirely too wealthy.
In conclusion. Mitt Romney is so fucking hot I want to just coat myself in his semen very wealthy, and you should vote for him because wealth.
Grade: D+
Your writing needs improvement. Also, I asked you to provide three reasons to support Mitt Romney, and you only provided one (his wealth). Do not use ‘in conclusion’ to begin your conclusion. Work at the high school level or above requires citations, which you neglected to provide.
Kevin, if you need to talk about your writing or any sort of personal issues, my door is always open.